Brand · Xi Jinpinguin Ticker · $JINPINGUIN Status · Pre-launch Parody · Unaffiliated

Bulletin 001 · The Colony · Composure Maintained

Xi JinpinguinUniform over the feathers

“The face does not change. Therefore nothing has happened.

Ticker · $JINPINGUIN Universe · The Colony Permanently composed
Xi Jinpinguin A stylised penguin standing upright on ice, wearing a buttoned uniform tunic over its feathers, with a calm, entirely composed face.

$JINPINGUIN has not launched. There is no contract address — if you are shown one, it is not ours.

X — not open yet Pump.fun — not open yet
Doc 01

The Colony

Several thousand identical birds facing the same direction, and one of them is wearing a tunic.

The Colony is enormous, flat and extremely cold, and its most striking feature is how quiet it is. Penguins are not quiet. This one is. The others have taken the hint, and the hint is now policy.

Nobody in the Colony has ever seen the tunic removed. Several have wondered aloud whether there are feathers underneath. Wondering aloud is not encouraged, and it is notable how quickly that stopped happening.

Everyone faces forward. Forward is wherever he is standing.

Population

Not published. Counting is a state function and the state is busy.

Weather

Described in all internal bulletins as favourable, including during the parts that are not.

Doc 02

The Uniform

Buttoned over the feathers. Never over anything else, and never opened.

The collar

High, red, and cut so that turning the head requires turning the entire bird. This is considered a design success.

The buttons

Four. Evenly spaced. Nobody has ever seen one undone, and nobody is prepared to be the first to mention it.

The pockets

Two. Both stitched shut. They have never held anything and they have never needed to.

The fit

Immaculate on a body shaped like a bowling pin, which took the tailor eleven years and a change of career.

Doc 03

Composure

The face has one setting, and the setting is this is fine and was always going to be fine.

Storms arrive. Ice cracks. Fish do not come. The face does not change. Over time the Colony learned to read the weather off the face instead of off the sky, and since the face never moves, the weather has been officially stable for a very long time.

It is not a poker face. A poker face is hiding something. This face genuinely appears to have concluded the matter in advance.

Recorded expressions

One. It is the one on this page. There is no second one on file.

Blinking

Confirmed to occur. Never twice in the presence of the same witness.

Doc 04

The Standing Order

Issued once, a long time ago, and never rescinded, because rescinding it would imply it had been wrong.

Article one

Face forward. Forward is defined elsewhere, in a document that is not circulated.

Article two

Do not slide on the stomach. Sliding is undignified and, as of the order, historically inaccurate.

Article three

The huddle is voluntary. Attendance at the voluntary huddle is recorded.

Article four

There is no article four. Asking about article four is itself covered by article one.

Doc 05

Token Status

Token statusNot yet launched
Contract addressNone — do not trust any
Market capUnavailable
Holders (the colony)Unavailable
LiquidityUnavailable
Official X accountNot yet created
Pump.fun listingNot yet created
Official domainNot yet secured

$JINPINGUIN has not launched. There is no contract address, no pool and no market. Every line above reads unavailable because nothing has been measured — not because a number is still loading. If anyone shows you a $JINPINGUIN contract address today, it is not ours and it is not real. When the token exists, the address will be published here first, and the buttons on this page will go live at the same moment. This is the one bulletin on the site with no composure in it at all: there is nothing yet.

Doc 06

The Waddle

The community does not exist yet either. Stated plainly, without composure.

There is no X account, no group, no channel and no moderator. Anything currently claiming to be the official Jinpinguin colony was not made by us. The single source of truth is this page, until this page says otherwise.

When the account opens, the button below stops being a dark chip and starts being a link. Nothing else about it changes.

What exists

The brand, the art direction, and this page. That is the complete list.

What does not

Domain, X account, Pump.fun listing, token, contract, holders, price.

Join the colony when it opens

Brand hook, then token status, then the community, then the buy path — in that order, and not one step before it is real.

$JINPINGUIN is pre-launch. Both actions below are prepared and stay inactive until the official account and coin exist.

Follow on X — not open yet Buy on Pump.fun — not live yet